only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Randomize
