You're so nebulous sometimes
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
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So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
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Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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