dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
