I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize