what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize