i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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