I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
