I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize