This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
