Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
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Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
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Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
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