her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
She's like a pop up book from hell.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
