When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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