dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
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