Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
