They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize