i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
