I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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