The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
