It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize