i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
