I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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