i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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