Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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