my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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