Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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