So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
