So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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