i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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