Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
