Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
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At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
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I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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