Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
