The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Randomize