I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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