so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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