she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
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I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
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What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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