My nipple is on Facebook.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
