She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Randomize