it hurts more in the daytime
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
