I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize