I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
