I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
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My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
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what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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