Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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