you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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