Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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