Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
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