did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
