He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
