I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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