Dual....:-)
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
