Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
