I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
sarcasm needs its own font
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Randomize
