Rock
Scissors
Fuck
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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