Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
