Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I want to be your penis for a week.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila