even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.