u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
