I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize